


May I Say I Loved You More

by Luntian



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dating, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Ghosts, Haunted Places, M/M, Romance, Shane is an angel!, a fuckton of words, angel!shane, as in it gets really real angsty, but also angst, buzzfeed unsolved - Freeform, i cried, i hope you guys finish this, its so hard to think of tags, lots of them - Freeform, shane kind of dies, shit happens, shyan, uh, what else, yea thats about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 03:17:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luntian/pseuds/Luntian
Summary: He felt Ryan’s warm palm on his shoulder. By then he knew he couldn’t lie anymore.“I—well, uh...” Shane inhaled deeply, “Promise me you’ll believe.”Ryan was puzzled, but he nodded almost immediately.After a long pause, Shane finally continued, “I’m not human.”“What?” Ryan whispered. His eyebrows furrowed.“Well, I was human, then—and then I died.” Ryan stared. Shane realized he was making no sense. He sighed, “Okay, listen. I am an angel.” Shane glanced at Ryan, trying to see his reaction but he saw no expression on his face. “I was sent on Earth to, uh, complete some mission.”“You’re an alien?!”“I’m an angel!"/or/Shane is an angel with a time limit. And a boyfriend.





	May I Say I Loved You More

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first fic yay. It's shit and long, but I hope you find something you enjoy.  
> Also:  
> -this is not a religious fic but it does have references to Christianity because, you know, angels.  
> -33 is the age when Jesus died. Just a heads up.  
> -the haunted location was inspired by a real tragedy in a local theater :)  
> -this gets pretty heavy at the end (at least for me) ahahaha  
> -this was inspired by One Man Drinking Games by Mayday Parade (listen to the original [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vILRVzU4sys) or a sadder version by Two O'Clock Courage [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpJK0opGuC4)).
> 
>  
> 
> Alright. Enjoy!  
> 

There are actually many kinds of angels. Some of them are practically humans. Well, kind of. Shane Madej is one of them. He was one of those children who died at birth. Having no sins at the time of his death, he went to heaven instantly.

Children like him, they continue to grow in heaven, and they become angels. Most of them however are sent back down on earth to complete a mission. They are never told what it is, but once they are done they go back to heaven. Shane was sent at the age of three. Most angels are. He appeared in Illinois one morning, where somebody found him and then he was sent to the orphanage. Two years later he was adopted by a family – the Madej family.

He grew up like a normal human being. He went to school, and then to college. He even got a job at Buzzfeed sometime after. Sometimes he wondered if it was even right that he lived so normally; if it contributed to why he was taking so long to complete his mission.

He went on with his work, though. It made him happy. There, he met Ryan Bergara. There, he knew for the first time how it felt like to be in love; to wake up each day excited to see the guy, to talk to him. For the first time, too, he felt extreme pain. A few days after they’d met he found out that Ryan had a girlfriend. He met her, even. She was lovely, and Shane knew well enough that he should refrain from acting upon his feelings. He was an angel, after all. He won’t be around for too long.

He met another angel not long after – Sara Rubin. They realized the other was an angel after they’d talked the first time. Since then they were almost inseparable, trying to help each other on discovering and completing their missions. Because of that, people started to think they were dating. And while angels don’t fall in love with each other, it’s easier to go along with it than to explain what they really were, so they did.

Eventually Sara completed her mission. She went back to heaven leaving Shane behind, still stuck on this hell of a place. Months before, Ryan went back to being single. Now they spent all their time together, whether they’re shooting for Unsolved or just hanging out.

Turns out, Ryan felt the same for Shane. They were on vacation one time – with other people, of course – but as usual they found some alone time and all of a sudden they were confessing to each other. At that moment Shane realized this was how it felt like to be in heaven again. This time, he never wanted to leave.

...

A series of text messages flooded Shane’s phone. _Ryan’s fucking with me again,_ he thought. He opened the messages after a while.

_“Shane”_

__

__

_“I need you to come over.”_

__

__

_“Shane, please. I need you.”_

__

__

_“Shaneeeeeeeey”_

__

__

_“Hurry please it’s an emergency.”_

__

__

_“Please read my texts.”_

__

__

_“Shane I love you so much.”_

__

__

_“shane”_

__

__

He went to change clothes. How the fuck did Ryan send all those within half a minute? He shook his head, gathered some microwavable popcorn and hurriedly made his way to Ryan’s. His boyfriend must have gotten another panic attack.

He got to the gate of Ryan’s home. It was absolutely dark inside, and no matter how many times he rang the doorbell nobody answered. He tried calling him a few times. No one picked up.

 _Shit. This must be worse than I thought._ He felt a greater sense of panic, not knowing what could have happened during the few minutes of his ride to this place. Ryan might be in danger. He climbed up the fence and went into one of the bigger windows. He might be tall as hell but he fitted perfectly through that certain window. He searched for the light switch with his hands and when he did get the lights on, he saw the smaller man, sleeping soundly on the couch.

“W—what?!” He screamed. He came as fast as he could, worried as fuck only to find Ryan fast asleep? _Thank God._

__

__

Ryan awoke from his boyfriend’s shriek of disbelief. He sat up immediately, a smile forming on his lips as he saw the beautiful man who just broke into his home.

“Took you long enough,” his eyes glimmered; though still a bit red from recently waking up.

“I came as soon as I heard,” Shane sighed as he spoke. He sat beside Ryan before speaking up again. “I’m so glad you’re safe, man. But what the fuck happened?”

Ryan obviously sensed Shane’s worry, but he wheezed at the thought.

Confusion filled Shane’s face before he spoke, “What? Is—you think this is a joke? Is this funny to you? I was worried!”

Ryan, being the bitch that he is, still laughed. “Oh, did I scare you?”

“Is that really what this is? Some tactic to give me some—a heart attack?” Shane finally wheezed along.

“Yeah, I definitely want my boyfriend killed.” Shane was terrified of the thought; that he’d go and leave Ryan. He could go anytime, actually, and he wouldn’t even be able to say good bye. He shrugged off the thoughts. Instead, he acted the way he always did – eyes wide open, hand on his mouth, pretending to be surprised at his lover’s typical murderous tendencies.

“What? Why would you want that?” His lower lip was pushed forward. Ryan responded with a chuckle.

“I’m kidding. Actually, I got a thing I thought you’d like.” With that, he pulled Shane into his room, revealing a stuffed toy version of the popcorn man they had on one of their postmortem episodes.

Shane couldn’t stop smiling. “Damn, that looks hot,” he chuckled, “and buttery.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.”

“I got another one.” Ryan pulled something out of a huge box sitting on his bed.

Shane snorted – and then wheezed. After that he and Ryan just continued to laugh for two minutes straight.

“I—“ Shane finally started, “I can’t believe you got a hotdog plushie!”

“I think this calls for a new set of merchandise.” Ryan was already red.

“The world better get ready for the hotdaga merch!” Ryan threw his head back as he laighed. Shane inched closer to Ryan, holding his hands. _God, he loved this man so much._

__

__

“I love you, little guy.”

“I love you more, big guy.”

…

It was his 33rd birthday and Shane was terrified.

Angels only stayed on Earth before they turn 34. They all finish their missions by then. He was supposed to be happy, wasn’t he? He could finally return home within a year. However, deep inside him he knew he wanted to stay. This is his home now – Ryan is. And he wanted to be with him for as long as he could.

Perhaps he won’t be able to complete his mission before he turned 34, and perhaps he will be able to have Ryan for much longer. Perhaps God heard his prayers, and perhaps He’d grant it. He could only hope.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it. He just got home from the party Ryan threw for him. But now that he’s alone, these horrible thoughts wouldn’t leave him. Tears started falling down his cheeks.

In the middle of his sobs his front door slammed open. “Hey Shane you forgot your—Shane?

Shane froze, refusing to turn around to face the man on his doorway.

“Are you okay, big guy?” Shane tried to wipe his tears rapidly as he heard Ryan’s footsteps coming closer. “What’s wrong?”

He felt Ryan’s warm palm on his shoulder. By then he knew he couldn’t lie anymore.

“I—well, uh...” Shane inhaled deeply, “Promise me you’ll believe.”

Ryan was puzzled, but he nodded almost immediately.

After a long pause, Shane finally continued, “I’m not human.”

“What,” Ryan whispered. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Well, I was human, then—and then I died.” Ryan stared. Shane realized he was making no sense. He sighed, “Okay, listen. I am an angel.”

Shane glanced at Ryan, trying to see his reaction but he saw no expression on his face.

“I was sent on Earth to, uh, complete some mission.”

“You’re an alien?!”

“I’m an _angel_! And—and frankly, I don’t know what my mission is. No one knows, really, but I have to finish it. And, I only have a year more to stay.”

He heard the smaller man gasp, and he continued to pace around the room.

“Well, actually I _don’t_ know how much time I still have because once I finish my mission I’m going back to heaven immediately and,” his voice cracked as his tears took over his cheeks again, “I don’t ever want to leave you.”

He knew the little guy would have a hard time taking all this in. He might even take it as a joke. It hurt, but Shane knew what he had to do. It was over.

“I—I’m sorry if this is too much for you, Ryan. Maybe,” Shane stared at the floor. “Maybe it’s best if we… break up.” He didn’t want to do it, but it would be selfish of him to not give Ryan time to heal; to move on. Hell, it was already selfish of him that he got Ryan in this mishap in the first place.

“No.” Shane quickly looked up at Ryan. The latter stared innocently. There were no signs of doubt or confusion. He just walked over to Shane, proceeding to envelope him in his loving arms.

Ryan was still trying to let things sink in, but he knew for sure that his man wasn’t lying – the tone of his voice and the pain in his eyes told him so. He kissed the big guy’s chin.

“Let’s go out.”

“What?”

“Come on, I’ll take you somewhere pretty.” Ryan held Shane’s hand and led him to his car.

The whole ride was silent. It wasn’t uncomfortable, really, but it wasn’t so comfortable either. Both were in deep thoughts and were too scared to speak.

The moment they got to their destination, Ryan finally broke the silence.

“We’re here.” Shane could actually hear him smile. They both go out of the car and Shane looked at the view.

“It’s beautiful,” he smiled as the fireflies lit the fields.

“It is,” Ryan whispered fondly, eyes on Shane.

The younger man took Shane to a huge field filled with fireflies. He saw the man’s face lit up, and he knew his rather impulsive decision was right.

“You know, if I knew I’d take you here tonight, I would’ve made this place a bit more romantic.”

“Well, what took you so long?” Shane’s right eyebrow rose.

“I only found out about this place a while back. I thought I’d take you here on Valentine’s.” Ryan had always been the romantic type, planning out surprises for Shane even months before.

“Wow, that’s a bit late isn’t it?” Ryan lightly punched his man’s shoulder, wheezing.

“Next Valentine’s, you idiot.”

Shane paused, suddenly remembering why they were here in the first place. Ryan noticed and silence filled the space between them once more.

“Do you really have to leave?” Ryan sighed.

“I wish I didn’t.” It took Shane a while to answer, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you any sooner.”

“How long have you known?”

“Since forever.” Ryan nodded. “I didn’t think this day would come. I don’t know, I just—I wanted so badly to be human. I wanted to have a normal life. I never want to leave you. I wanted us to last. I wan—“

Ryan stopped him with a peck on the lips. “Shane, stop. It’s okay.”

“I wanted to spend eternity with you.” It almost came out as a whisper.

“Every moment I’ve ever gotten to spend with you – they’re more than enough.”

“So… no break up?”

“I’ll kill you if you try to break up with me again.” Ryan was smiling, and Shane had never been more relieved.

“You know, I’m surprised you believe me.”

“I believe in a lot of things. Besides, if demons are real, so are angels.”

“Demons aren’t real.”

“We’re doing this, huh?”

“They’re not! They’re just a bunch of bologna.” They weren’t. Shane knew they’re real, but he was afraid Ryan would freak out all the time once he’s gone. Even when he’s still here Ryan already freaked out a lot.

Ryan laughed softly in defeat, “Well I guess I’m gonna have to listen to the angel, then.”

“Are we finally agreeing here?”

“Yea—no,” Ryan paused for a while, “We’re still doing Unsolved, right?”

“As long as I’m here, I’ll be doing it with you.” He believed in Shane, no doubt, but Ryan stared at Shane trying to look for any signs that would tell him otherwise. How he wished this was just a prank. Obviously, it wasn’t, though. He wondered if Shane’s soul will still follow him after he goes. Is that even a thing? Suddenly he questioned the existence of ghosts. But he didn’t want that. He wanted Shane to be by his side – physically. He wanted to be able to see him, to touch him, to _feel_ him. He placed his hand on Shane’s cheek, memorizing how his soft skin felt on his palms.

“What happens to it when you’re gone? I don’t… I don’t want to do it with anyone else. It’s like our baby. It’s _ours_. I don’t want to do it without you.”

“I’m sorry, Ry.” Shane held Ryan’s face with both his hands and wiped the tears on his cheeks, “I wish I could stay longer.”

Ryan took a deep breath, “Perhaps we’ll have to make the most of the time we still got.” He smiled before running through the grass. Shane followed him and they stopped in the middle of the field. Ryan showed him his palms – he caught a firefly. They went on like this for hours, until they got tired and Ryan ended up in Shane’s arms.

“I’m gonna miss you, ya know,” Ryan whispered.

“I’ll always be with you. I promise.” Shane swiftly pressed his lips onto the smaller man’s forehead, “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

…

Ryan was simultaneously filled with excitement and dread. It was October 31st, and he can’t screw this up. Halloween was his favorite holiday ever and it’s the last one he’d ever spend with his angel so he made sure everything went perfectly.

He showed up to Shane’s, already in his costume. He wore black everything – from a magician hat to a Victorian overcoat on top of his suit. He even had a cane and bloodied knife as props. He’s ready to be a serial killer, and he’s killing it –until he realized how his stomach was turning upside down, wanting so badly to see what Shane had in store for this season. As the big guy opened the door, he was met by a six foot tall hotdog with horns, a tail and some huge fork.

“What the fuck, man!” Ryan exclaimed. “You’re _literally_ an angel. What were you thinking?” He was met with uncontrollable laughter.

“What? Demons are fallen angels. Technically, I _am_ a demon.”

“Are you admitting the existence of demons?”

“Well—“

“All this time I’ve been with an actual demon? Is even a costume? Or is that your true form?”

“Hell yeah it is!” he smirked as he poked the little guy with his fork before eyeing Ryan’s costume. “Well what are _you_ supposed to be?”

“Uhh—uh Jack the Ripper.” Ryan didn’t really think that through. He didn’t know what he wanted to be for this year. He thought he’d be an angel a few months back, in contrast to the growing speculations of Shane being a demon, but now that he knew that Shane was the _actual_ angel among them, he thought he’d go for a different choice.

“That—that isn’t what serial killers look like,” Shane broke into fits of laughter. Again.

“Yeah? What do they look like?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a serial killer!”

“That’s exactly what a serial killer would say.”

“Fuck you, Ryan.”

“Hey,” Ryan paused for a while, as if thinking deeply. “Are angels even _allowed_ to swear?”

“What?”

“Well—uh, can you, like, go to hell for that or something?”

“That’s something you don’t get to know, little guy.”

“What? Why?”

Shane leaned in to Ryan and whispered, “It’s top secret.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Says the one with the dumb costume.”

“I’m Ricky Goldsworth, baby!” Ryan yelled as he put on his shades.

Shane replied with a loud chuckle, grabbing his man’s arm and then heading towards the streets to begin their journey to the party.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Shut up, Shane.”

“But you’re my idiot. I love ya, Goldsworth.”

Ryan wheezed. “I love you more, dumbass.”

…

They lied on the grass of the firefly field. This had become their new favorite place. It was New Year’s Eve; Shane wanted them to celebrate it like they always did – with their friends, some fireworks and lots of drinks. Ryan insisted on keeping Shane to himself, though. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was more scared of his man’s departure more than Shane himself. It wasn’t a surprise, and Shane knew that. He just wished he could do something, _anything_ to save Ryan the agony. It was completely dark now. The light reflected by the full moon was enough to illuminate Ryan’s pinkish face. They did get a few drinks from the party earlier before they snuck out to the peaceful grassland. Ryan drank a bit more than he intended.

“This is it, huh?” His voice was a clear indication that he was, indeed, at least half intoxicated.

“What is?” Shane knew what it was but for some reason his dumb ass just wanted to hear Ryan’s voice. The little guy sighed so audibly Shane could hear his pain.

“This is… your last year. This is the last time I’m ever getting to spend the holidays with you. In a few months you’ll be gone and,” His voice cracked before he broke down completely, “I—I don’t know what I’m ever going to do without you. I don’t know what I’ll be without you.”

Tears started to stream down the taller man’s face, too, as he got closer to Ryan and held him in his arms. He wished he could find the words to comfort his boyfriend, but all that he said was true. “I’m… I’m so sorry, little guy.” Shane hated how endearing his words sounded. He shouldn’t have gotten Ryan into this in the first place. “I wish I could give you what you deserve. I was selfish. I wanted to know what love felt like, but—but if I knew you’d be this hurt I wouldn’t have let you love me.” Those last words came out as whispers. He just couldn’t speak anymore.

They fell silent for a while. Ryan turned to Shane and wrapped him in a full embrace. “I don’t blame you, Shane. I never did. You’re not selfish. I’m just… scared. To lose you completely. I wanted to love you, and I would have no matter what. You were the best thing that’s happened to me. I don’t regret loving an angel.” His voice was still sad, but comforting. “Even if it means not getting to spend forever with you.”

Ryan’s head was tucked into Shane’s chest now. “I don’t regret ever loving you, too. I’ll be with you forever. You just won’t see me.”

The little guy smiled at this. “You saying you’ll be haunting me?”

“Maybe.” Just like that they were content, wrapped into one another and covered in comfortable silence once again.

They stayed that way for a brief moment, just until the clock struck twelve and fireworks filled the view.

“I still got a few months, ya know.”

“We don’t know that. I’m glad I even got to spend the holidays with you.”

“Yeah but,” He paused. Ryan was absolutely right, but he had to say something. “I’m sure I won’t be going anytime soon.”

“I hope so,” Ryan looked at the big guy, “Mind telling me about your mission?”

“Uh, well, I don’t know what it is.”

“What? How would you do it then?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Wh—Ryan! I’ve told you about this before!”

“Doesn’t matter. You haven’t answered my question.” Shane let out a little wheeze in response.

“I don’t know. It just happens, then I die.”

“What? You’ll die? _Again?_ ”

“Technically.” Frankly, Shane didn’t know much about this either. Like humans, their lives don’t come with instructions. Angels that were sent on Earth are just basically given a second shot at life, except now with a much stronger presence and, well, a time limit.

“Do I, uh, forget about you? Does everybody forget you ever existed?”

“Where are you getting all these questions?”

“I’m doing the asking here.”

“Well, no. It’s as if I’m a normal human being.” Shane thought about what he said and then immediately doubted himself. What if they were erased from people’s minds when they go? “You remember Sara, right?”

“Yeah, why would I—“ Ryan suddenly realized what he had said. “Sara’s an angel?”

Shane only gave a nod. “What? Why are you only telling me this now?”

“You never asked.”

“How would I even get the idea to ask you _that?_ ”

“You tell me. You’ve been asking me things a normal person wouldn’t for the past couple of minutes.”

“You’re dense, aren’t you?” Their laughs were in sync. “Is that why you were together? Because you’re both angels?” Ryan never minded talking about Sara. She was Shane’s girlfriend, sure, but she was also a good friend of his. He missed her dearly.

“We weren’t together. We never actually dated. People just liked to assume things.” The little guy was even more confused. All this time they were just… friends?

“Really? But you were so sweet.”

“Yes, really. You’re the only person I ever fell in love with.”

“Wowza.” Was all he could utter, in attempt to both shoot back a sarcastic remark and to hide his inability to process this much information.

“Don’t believe me?” Shane stood from where they were sitting and put his hands on either side of his mouth before screaming into the empty fields. “I love you Ryan Bergara!”

“Hey!” Ryan pulled him back down as they both laughed. “You’re an idiot.”

Shane raised an eyebrow. “I just said I loved you.”

“Of course you do.” Ryan said nonchalantly, pretending not to notice Shane waiting for his response. In turn, Shane frowned, pretending to be hurt. Ryan couldn’t refrain from smiling. He sighed. “I love you more, Shane.”

Shane was content.

…

Each day Shane felt more and more dreadful. They had been travelling a lot since the beginning of the year, creating fun (and definitely not scary) videos along the way. Ryan said he’d wanted to travel around the world with his boyfriend and Shane loved the idea. It did, however, make him even more terrified, because what if he leaves halfway through their travel? What will happen to Ryan then?

It was Valentine’s and he was on a date with his little guy. They were in one of the most romantic places in Japan as they walked with their hands intertwined. There were couples everywhere but one had struck Shane so much his mind momentarily stopped. An old couple sat on a bench a few meters away from where they walked. It was a beautiful sight, and Ryan’s heart shattered when he noticed what made Shane stop. He knew what his man was thinking. He cupped his face, but didn’t utter a word.

“I wish we could be like them someday,” Shane sighed, “I wish I could give you that kind of future.”

A small smirk formed on Ryan’s face, “We could be like that now.” With that, he poured some powdered sugar on Shane’s head. He had been eating chocolate crinkles earlier and it contained way more sugar than it needed. He’d love to spoil his sweet tooth by indulging on those powdered sweets, but he realized it was better used this way. “See, you look old now.”

“That’s disgusting!” Shane stole the container from Ryan’s hands. It still had lots of sugar and Ryan knew where this was going so he sprinted away. Shane chased him and they were like children on a playground, not caring about the funny look people gave them. The big guy soon caught Ryan and he poured the rest of the powder on his boyfriend’s hair.

They stood there just laughing and panting from all the running. “I love you even when we’re old.” Ryan managed to breathe out.

The taller man held his hands and kissed them. “God knows how much I want to continue living. God knows I’ll to anything to be able to grow old with you.”

“God knows how much I’ve been praying for that,” Ryan replied, “but maybe God needs you more than I do.” Ryan held Shane’s face before his hands fell on his shoulders. “We don’t have forever but at least we have _right now,_ ” He added.

The big guy smiled at this and he wrapped his hands around the little guy’s waist. “That’s true. Right now, let me offer you the rest of my short life.” His lips met Ryan’s swiftly. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

…

“This week on BuzzzFeed Unsolved we investigate the MayFlower Theater as part of our ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?” Shane shook his head subtly as he looked into the camera. Ironic, he thought. He’s basically a ghost. With a physical form. But here he is, a dead human-turned-angel sitting next to the person who makes him feel more alive than he’s ever been (though in his defense he’s only ever been alive for a few hours) denying his own existence. “This theater is home to a very tragic history. Right now we’re sitting over probably hundreds of bodies buried beneath these grounds.”

“Wow, that’s… a lot.”

“Well, yeah it—“

“But I bet, like, literally anywhere we go we’d be standing over, uh, thousands of fossils. The Earth is billions of years old, Ryan!” Ryan let out a loud chuckle, and Shane smiled fondly.

“Yeah but I’m not talking about remains from thousands or hundreds of years ago. These bodies are, at most just from thirty years ago.”

“But what difference does that make? Decades, centuries – they’re still fossils. They’re dead.” Ryan rolled his eyes, which Shane found amusing.

“You know what, we’re done here.” Shane laughed this time. “As you can see, it’s completely abandoned now—“

“Uh—except for a few workers going around.” Shane scoffed. Ryan’s eyes widened, “What?”

“Yeah, I came across a few people at the back. Greeted them, even. They were pretty nice.”

“Shane nobody’s worked here since it closed.” Ryan’s voice was shaky. He was obviously freaking out, so Shane blurted out anything he could at the top of his head.

“Ah, perhaps they were fans. That explains why they were almost squealing. They even wanted my autograph.” Shane winked. That was the stupidest thing he said in a while and he knew Ryan wouldn’t buy it. He shouldn’t have mentioned it in the first place. Sometimes he wished he could just keep his mouth shut. “You think they’re ghosts? Ghosts aren’t real, Ryan.” He joked. The smaller man evidently relaxed a bit. Maybe it wasn’t so stupid. “You know what, it’s story time!”

Ryan giggled, “Alright. Let’s get into it.”

Ryan started the story as per usual but Shane couldn’t focus. He was an angel but supernatural beings don’t usually show themselves to him. If anything, they stayed away from him as much as they could. He wondered why those spirits, or whatever they were, showed themselves to him. They might be asking for help. Shane’s mind filled with distress. _What if this is… my mission?_ He shook his head, and perhaps his movements were so obvious that Ryan stopped his narration.

“You okay, big guy?” Ryan sounded worried. Shane refrained from creating any more tension.

“Uhh… Yeah”

“Feel some shiver down your spine?” A soft laugh. “Are you finally feeling something?”

“Nope. Nope! Im not giving in to your bullshit. This place is…” He looked around “Pretty normal.”

“An abandoned theater? With bodies buried probably right below us? Absolutely normal.”

“Yeah! Like I said—”

“Alright.” Ryan stopped him before they went off track. “Shut up, Shane.” He mumbled before continuing to narrate the events. After they’d finished, they went on to explore the place. The place wasn’t any different from the ones they’ve been to before. It’s old, dirty, and disgustingly filled with pests. It was a nightmare. But there was something more to it that Shane thought was unsettling, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

They were basically just in a huge room with a probably thousands of decaying chairs. It was meant to be a place where the biggest film festivals were to be held. It was, however, tremendously rushed. In the middle of its construction the building collapsed, leaving the workers buried beneath. It was ordered to be rebuilt immediately without getting the bodies, which left a bunch of restless spirits trapped inside its walls. Shane could sense them, but unlike in the other places they’ve explored, he couldn’t seem to give these spirits peace. Usually his presence would be enough to rest their souls but this time he couldn’t quite catch them.

They also went through the lobby and some other rooms, the most active one being the supposed emergency exit. It was like a tunnel and it didn’t lead outside. Perhaps unfinished, Shane thought. He could feel the spirits a lot stronger there, but still not enough to communicate with them subtly.

“Hey Ryan, how about we do this individually?” He kept up the act, a smirk forming on his lips.

“What? I don’t think—I think I’d like to keep my sanity.”

“That exists?”

“Shut up, Shane.”

“Ryan, we gotta get your fears fixed!”

“That’s not true. You just want to see me freak out.” Ryan’s voice was shaky.

“Yeah.”

“Jesus Christ. You’re exhausting.” A sigh.

“Alright.”

“You go first.”

“Gladly.” Shane went back inside and closed his flashlight. He paced around, trying to see if anything would show up to him. “If there’s anyone here feel free to reach out to me” Usually he’d say that halfheartedly, knowing well enough that nothing was there anymore. This time, however, he was actually hoping for a response. “I could help you,” He whispered. Sadly, nothing.

He heard Ryan’s scream from outside. He was alarmed but he dismissed it knowing Ryan freaks quite out a lot. The scream didn’t stop though, and eventually it seemed more of a cry than a scream. He ran out of the room instantly. It was barely two minutes but he had to check on Ryan.

“What happened?” He asked, almost a shout. “Ryan?”

Ryan was shaking. All he did was stare at a dark corner. Shane looked at TJ, their cameraman, and noticed they were missing the expert they had interviewed earlier. She insisted to stay with them for a while to guide them with the place. “Where is she?”

TJ pointed to the corner of the room. At this moment, all their cameras were turned off except for Shane’s. He turned his light on and went near the corner. She was curled up, breathing heavily. She was too calm for it to be a demonic possession. Besides, Shane couldn’t sense any demonic entities around – just souls. He went on one knee and got closer to her.

“Who are you?” There was no answer. “Tell me your name.”

Silence filled the room. “TJ, maybe it’s best if you get some fresh air.” Shane ordered, “You too, Ryan.”

“No.” Ryan, though frightened, said sternly. “It’s okay, TJ.”

“You sure?” Ryan nodded in response. “Alright I’ll get some help.” TJ packed his things and hurriedly went out.

“It’s dangerous in here.” Shane argued, concern evident in his voice.

“I know that. But I’m not leaving you alone.”

Shane sighed. He didn’t want to put his man in danger, but he knew how stubborn Ryan is. He turned to the woman, still on his side.

“Please tell us your name. Tell us what you want. We can help you.”

Her head swung up violently as she looked at the boys. Ryan freaked out a little, but he saw how her eyes screamed pain and loneliness. He stayed silent but kept his guard up.

“Please tell my family…” She struggled to speak. Her voice changed into that a man’s. “That I’m alright.”

She collapsed right after she spoke and Ryan managed to grab her before she fell to the ground. “Sh—should we bring her outside?”

Shane observed her for a while. “The spirit is still inside her body.”

“How will we get it to leave?” Ryan felt her move a little, as if struggling.

“I can’t… move. It’s dark down here.” She let out a whimper. Ryan’s eyes widened and he felt a sense of panic rush over to him. Noticing this, Shane took her from Ryan’s arms.

“Down there? Where are you?” Shane felt her struggling to breathe.

“I… I don’t know…” She then opened her eyes and sat upright, as if she hadn’t been fighting for her breath moments ago. Her face turned from sorrow to anger. “You told me you’d help me!” She screamed. She started to rise up to the ceiling. “You told us we’d be safe. You promised us a good life once we finished the construction. You lied!”

At this moment Ryan was shaking. “Who are they? What did they do to you?” Shane shouted. He had to communicate with her. If his presence was not enough for these spirits to be at peace, he had to find out what else he could do.

“I just wanted to provide for my family. Now I can’t even see them!” Her voice was coarse; full of wrath. “It’s all because of you.” She said this to no one in particular, but she started to head towards Shane.

Ryan panicked. He immediately reached for his pocket to get his holy water. He opened it, shaking, and out of impulse he threw it to the lady. The water spilled on her and she fell to the ground once again. She shrieked for a good while before passing out.

“Ryan…” Shane uttered. He was actually glad she’d come at him instead of Ryan. He couldn’t be hurt by mortals, much less a spirit. He saw the spirit come out of her body but it disappeared before he could say anything.

“Are you alright?” Ryan rushed to Shane.

“Yeah.” He turned to the girl. “The spirit… It left.”

“We should take her outside.” Ryan carried her. Bruises formed all over her body. They weren’t very evident now, but it was obvious how damaged she already was.

“Okay.” Shane followed. “But I need to go back to help them.”

“Who?”

“The spirits. I saw them. They… I need to help them find peace.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No, Ryan.” Shane’s tone was low. “I can’t put your life at risk.”

“Well I can’t leave you alone.”

“But—“

“Shane, let me. Please.”

“Alright.” Shane sighed in defeat. “But keep your guards up, okay? And more importantly – do not be afraid.”

They got outside and found TJ standing beside the front door. “Oh my god, you’re safe!” He exclaimed. “I called 911. They’re on their way.”

“Alright. Tell them to take her to the hospital as soon as possible. We just need to get some things done.” Shane spoke as Ryan put the lady down.

“Wait, you’re going back in there?” TJ asked, stunned.

“Yeah… It’s for Unsolved.” Ryan replied. He didn’t have any better alibi.

“Forget Unsolved! It’s dangerous in there.”

“We have to finish what we started.”

TJ was confused, but it’s not like he could stop the boys. “Okay. Stay safe, you guys.” He reminded them, worried.

“Of course. You too.” Shane said before heading back in with Ryan.

Shane led the way with Ryan just a few steps behind. Shane glanced at his boyfriend. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Ryan nodded. “What do you have in mind?”

“We’ll talk to the spirits. Well, I will, at least. I don’t think you’ll be able to communicate with them.”

“Why not?”

“They can’t show themselves to most people. You have to be an intuitive to see them.”

“Right. I could hear them, though, can’t I?”

“Probably just whispers.” Shane paused. They were there. The people he’d seen in the other room along with a few more, they were all looking at him. “They’re here.”

Ryan froze in response, but he remembered what Shane told him. He can’t be afraid. He shouldn’t make himself vulnerable. Shane led him inside one of the rooms and ordered him to sit on the floor. “Alright. Close your eyes and keep them like that, okay?” Shane held his hands.

“Okay.” He shut his eyes close as he heard Shane whisper.

“We are here to help you and not to harm you. Please communicate with us. Open your doors and let us in. We will listen. Allow us to help you find peace.” Ryan heard whispers almost immediately. Shane spoke again. “What did they do to you?” A beat. “Can you tell us what happened?” Whispers flooded his ear, and with every question they only got louder. They became so loud he could hardly hear Shane’s voice anymore. His mind wandered off. What could Shane be hearing? What could they have answered? He wanted to know but he knew it was far better off this way. Otherwise, he might have freaked out and that would be another problem.

He was caught off guard when he heard Shane shouting. He opened his eyes and saw what was happening. Objects were floating and suddenly he felt a cool breeze. Shane screaming his name was the last thing he remembered before blacking out.

He awoke in Shane’s arms. Once he got to open his eyes, Shane hugged him. “You—You’re alright!” He was in tears.

Ryan realized what had happened. “Oh my god.” He hugged back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know why I opened my eyes.”

“It’s fine. It actually helped me help the spirits.”

Ryan looked around. “They’re… gone?”

“Yeah.” Shane smiled. “They’re at peace now.”

Everything was a mess. Ryan scanned Shane’s face. Even he was a mess. “Let’s go?”

“I… I might be going now.” Shane stated in dismay. Ryan’s mood dropped.

“What?”

“I think this was my mission.” They fell silent. Ryan was speechless; he didn’t think this day would come. They waited a moment before Shane let out a hum.

“I guess not.” Shane shrugged.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Ryan was a hundred percent composed of confusion right now. “What’s happening?”

“I thought this was my mission. But I guess it wasn’t. If it were, I’d be dissolving by now.” Shane smiled. “Either that or I’ll be staying here for good.” Ryan smiled back, though they know that last statement was too good to be true.

“I hope so.” Ryan sighed. “Let’s go get our asses back to safety.”

“You okay?”

Ryan stood up feeling some ache on his sides. Other than that, he was fine. “Yeah.”

They went back to the emergency exit to gather the things they’d left earlier. Shane was still a bit groggy. “Are _you_ okay?” Ryan mimicked Shane’s tone earlier.

“Yeah, I’m just surprised I’m not evaporating like I thought I would.”

“Maybe it’s because you can’t leave me just yet,” Ryan joked.

“Maybe it is.” Shane shot him a smile.

On their way back to the lobby, part of the building suddenly collapsed. The ritual earlier must have been so intense it destabilized the place. It didn’t help that the building itself had very weak foundation. Both were shocked at the collapse, and then suddenly another part of the building, the part they were on, was threatening to fall.

Shane noticed and instinctively pushed Ryan out of danger. He managed to dodge the debris, too, but he was badly injured. Ryan was terrified. He crawled towards Shane and tried to help him up. “Come on, let’s get out before everything else falls apart.” But nothing else fell. Shane stayed down. He felt his worst fears coming true. He couldn’t move. He felt his body getting numb and his soul separating from it.

Right then he realized that Ryan was his mission. Actually, no. Ryan was his _final_ mission. Angels were never told what their mission was because they had no specific goals. He didnt exist to accomplish a single mission. None of them did. It was an accumulation of missions – their collective mission was to make the world a better place and get the good out of the people they come across. It was just easier with Ryan around. Ryan makes everything easy for Shane. He realized he had helped so many spirits throughout the Unsolved series and he’d been accomplishing his “missions” one by one. And now that he had saved the love of his life, his time is done.

“Shane, what’s happening?” Ryan’s voice filled with horror. _Was this it? Was Shane finally leaving him?_

__

__

“Ryan…” It was barely a whisper.

“No, Shane. Keep breathing. It’s okay. I’m here. Shane, stay alive, please.” Tears streamed down Ryan’s face. T _his can’t be happening._

__

__

Shane used up all his energy to cup Ryan’s face. “Ryan,” He could hardly speak, “I’ll be with you always. I promise.”

Ryan couldn’t control his sobs. “Shane, please.” His weeping filled the silence. “I love you Shane. I love you so much.”

Shane smiled for the last time before whispering, “I love you more Ryan.”

Ryan held Shane even closer. He listened as Shane’s heart slowed to a stop. Right then, his world ended.

The emergency response team found them after half an hour. When Ryan saw TJ, he broke down again. “He’s gone,” he whispered. TJ just as devastated, but he held Ryan anyway. Everyone was silent.

…

_Let’s drink to memories we shared._

_Down one to all the hopes and cares._

He sat alone in the bar, ordering his 40th drink this night.

_Here’s to being unaware that you’re gone._

He raised his bottle, as if drinking with someone.

_Because before too long you’ll be a memory._

“Shane,” he uttered, already drunk. He finished his beer in one gulp. He ordered another. He was wasted, but he couldn’t care less. Why was he drinking again? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to remember.

All he knew was that tonight, he’ll come home, and no one will be there to embrace him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it! Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome. <3


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